How to Stay Young

 

Throw out nonessential numbers.  

This includes age, weight and height.
Let the doctors worry about them.  

That is why you pay them.

Keep only cheerful friends.
The grouches pull you down.  

(keep this In mind if you are one of those grouches)

Keep learning:
Learn more about the computer,

crafts, gardening, whatever.

Never let the brain get idle.
"An idle mind is the devil's workshop."
And the devil's name is Alzheimer's!

Enjoy the simple things.

Laugh often, long and loud.

Laugh until you gasp for breath.
And if you have a friend who makes you laugh,  

spend lots and  Lots of time with HIM/HER.  

 

 

The tears happen:
Endure, grieve, and move on.  

The only person who is with us our entire life,  

is ourselves.  LIVE while you are alive.

Surround yourself with what you love:
Whether it's family, pets, keepsakes,

music, plants, hobbies, whatever.

Your home is your refuge.

Cherish your health:
If it is good, preserve it.
If it is unstable, improve it.
If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.



Don't take guilt trips.
Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county,   

to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.

Tell the people you love that you love them,

at every opportunity.

 

 

Purple Hat Angel

IF I HAD MY LIFE TO LIVE OVER

by Erma Bombeck (not verified)

I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren't there for the day.

I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.

I would have talked less and listened more.

I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained, or the sofa faded.

I would have eaten the popcorn in the 'good' living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace.

I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth.

I would have shared more of the responsibility carried by my husband.

I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.

I would have sat on the lawn with my grass stains.

I would have cried and laughed less while watching television and more while watching life.

I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn't show soil, or was guaranteed to last a lifetime.

Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have cherished every moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.
 
When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, "Later. Now go get washed up for dinner."

There would have been more "I love you's." More "I'm sorry's."

But mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute...look at it and really see it live it and never give it back.

Stop sweating the small stuff.

Don't worry about who doesn't like you, who has more, or who's doing what.

Instead, let's cherish the relationships we have with those who do love us.

Not For Sissies…One Liners

SO MANY MEN, SO FEW WHO CAN AFFORD ME.

GOD MADE US SISTERS, PROZAC MADE US FRIENDS.

IF THEY DON’T HAVE CHOCOLATE IN HEAVEN, I AIN’T GOING.

MY MOTHER IS A TRAVEL AGENT FOR GUILT TRIPS.

PRINCESS, HAVING HAD SUFFICIENT EXPERIENCE WITH PRINCES, SEEKS FROG.

COFFEE, CHOCOLATE, MEN … SOME THINGS ARE JUST BETTER RICH.

DON’T TREAT ME ANY DIFFERENTLY THAN YOU WOULD THE QUEEN.

IF YOU WANT BREAKFAST IN BED, SLEEP IN THE KITCHEN.

DINNER IS READY WHEN THE SMOKE ALARM GOES OFF.

I’M OUT OF ESTROGEN – AND I HAVE A GUN.

GUYS HAVE FEELINGS TOO. BUT LIKE…WHO CARES?

NEXT MOOD SWING: 6 MINUTES.

AND YOUR POINT IS?

WARNING: I HAVE AN ATTITUDE AND I KNOW HOW TO USE IT.

OF COURSE I DON’T LOOK BUSY…I DID IT RIGHT THE FIRST TIME.

SO NOT START WITH ME. YOU WILL NOT WIN.

YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT, SO PLEASE SHUT UP.

ALL STRESSED OUT AND NO ONE TO CHOKE.

I’M ONE OF THOSE BAD THINGS THAT HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE.

HOW CAN I MISS YOU IF YOU WON’T GO AWAY?

SORRY IF I LOOKED INTERESTE. I’M NOT.

IF WE ARE WHAT WE EAT, I’M FAST, CHEAP AND EASY.

 DON’T UPSET ME! I’M RUNNING OUT OF PLACES TO HIDE THE BODIES.

WHO LIT THE FUSE ON YOUR TAMPON?

I ONLY HAVE A KITCHEN CUZ IT CAME WITH THE HOUSE.

The U and S in Uville

Remembering one of the emails that made rounds after 9/11/01

Every U down in Uville liked U.S. a lot, but the Binch, who lived Far East of Uville, did not.

The Binch hated U.S! the whole U.S. way!
Now don't ask me why, for nobody can say.

It could be his turban was screwed on too tight,
or the sun from the desert had beaten too bright.

But I think that the most likely reason of all
may have been that his heart was two sizes too small.
 
But, whatever the reason, his heart or his turban,
he stood facing Uville, the part that was urban.

"They're doing their business," he snarled from his perch. "They're raising their families! They're going to church!

They're leading the world, and their empire is thriving, I MUST keep the S's and U's from surviving!"
 
Tomorrow, he knew, all the U's and the S's,
would put on their pants and their shirts and their dresses.

They'd go to their offices, playgrounds and schools, and abide by their U and S values and rules.
 
And then they'd do something he liked least of all,
every U down in U-ville, the tall and the small, would stand all united, each U and each S,
and they'd sing Uville's anthem, "God bless us! God bless!"

All around their Twin Towers of Uville, they'd stand, and their voices would drown every sound in the land.
 
"I must stop that singing," Binch said with a smirk, and he had an idea---an idea that might work!

The Binch stole some U airplanes in U morning hours, and crashed them right into the Uville Twin Towers.

"They'll wake to disaster!" he snickered, so sour,
"and how can they sing when they can't find a tower?"
 
The Binch cocked his ear as they woke from their sleeping, all set to enjoy their U-wailing and weeping.

Instead he heard something that started quite low, and it built up quite slow, but it started to grow.

And the Binch heard the most unpredictable thing...and he couldn't believe it---they started to sing!
 
He stared down at U-ville, not trusting his eyes,
what he saw was a shocking, disgusting surprise!

Every U down in U-ville, the tall and the small,
was singing without any towers at all!

He HADN'T stopped U-Ville from singing! It sung!
For down deep in the hearts of the old and the young.

Those Twin Towers were standing, called Hope and called Pride, and you can't smash the towers we hold deep inside.
 
So we circle the sites where our heroes did fall,
with a hand in each hand of the tall and the small.

And we mourn for our losses while knowing we'll cope, for we still have inside that U-Pride and U-Hope.
 
For America means a bit more than tall towers,
It means more than wealth or political powers.

It's more than our enemies ever could guess, so may God bless America! Bless us! God bless!

Pass Me The Ball

 
This  MORNING I SEARCHED MY WALLET. . . .
IT  WAS EMPTY.

THEN  I CHECKED MY POCKETS. . .
I  FOUND A FEW COINS.

THEN I  SEARCHED MY HEART. . . .
&  FOUND YOU

. . . I  Realized HOW RICH
I REALLY  AM!!!
 
 
 

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS...
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING
TO DANCE IN THE RAIN!

Reason, Season, or a Lifetime Friend

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support. To aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a God send and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire
fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, it is real.. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

I want to thank all my friends for being a part of my life, whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime. If our paths had not crossed, I' wouldn’t be the person I am today…

GUARDIAN ANGEL

Angels do exist, only sometimes they haven't got wings…we call them friends.

Husband & Wife Week

Husband and Wife Week --If your spouse is still your best friend, works extremely hard, has been with you through triumphs and tragedies, who loves you when you're at your worst, and whom you are PROUD to be married to, copy and paste this with the date you were married...♥ 8-19-1975 ♥ Going on 36 wonderful years!!!

Never regret love. No matter how blind, it improved your world view. No matter how foolish, it made you wiser. And no matter how generous, it made you more.
Hubba, hubba,
    The Universe

And while we're at it, never regret the second scoop - that one's always mine.

Notes from the Universe

Give with a truly glad heart for the sole purpose of the good it will do, and whatever you give shall return to you, multiplied, as if on wings, covered in sparkles.
Richly,
    The Universe

If I told you there have been no mistakes,
that I understand every decision you've ever made,
and that the challenges you've faced, you've faced
for everyone, would you listen?

If I told you that what you dream of, I dream of for you,
that the only things "meant to be" are what you decide
upon, and that all that stands between you and the life
of your dreams are the thoughts you choose
to think, would you try to understand?

And if I told you that you are never alone,
that there are angels who sing your name in praise,
and that I couldn't possibly be any more proud of you
than I already am, would you believe me?

Would you? Even if I pulled your leg, made you blush,
                  and winked between the lines?

Then I shall...

The Universe
(from the Foreword of Book 1)

STAY COOL THIS WEEK!!!!

The History of ‘Aprons’

REMEMBER making an apron in Home-Ec?

I don't think our kids know what an apron is. The principal use of Grandma's apron was to protect the dress underneath, because she only had a few, it was easier to wash aprons than dresses and they used less material, but along with that, it served as a potholder for removing hot pans from the oven.

It was wonderful for drying children's tears, and on occasion was even used for cleaning out dirty ears.

From the chicken coop, the apron was used for carrying eggs, fussy chicks, and sometimes half-hatched eggs to be finished in the warming oven.

When company came, those aprons were ideal hiding places for shy kids.

And when the weather was cold, grandma wrapped it around her arms.

Those big old aprons wiped many a perspiring brow, bent over the hot wood stove.

Chips and kindling wood were brought into the kitchen in that apron.

From the garden, it carried all sorts of vegetables. After the peas had been shelled, it carried out the hulls.

In the fall, the apron was used to bring in apples that had fallen from the trees.

When unexpected company drove up the road, it was surprising how much furniture that old apron could dust in a matter of seconds.

When dinner was ready, Grandma walked out onto the porch, waved her apron, and the men knew it was time to come in from the fields to dinner.

It will be a long time before someone invents something that will replace that 'old-time apron' that served so many purposes.

Grandma used to set her hot baked apple pies on the window sill to cool.

Her granddaughters set theirs on the window sill to thaw.

They would go crazy now trying to figure out how many germs were on that apron.

I don't think I ever caught anything from an apron.

Author Unknown

For a great blog about the history of aprons, click below!

A few other places you might enjoy:

http://theopenpantry.blogspot.com/

http://www.theapronshoppe.com/index,fun-apron-stuff,history-of-aprons.php

 

http://anapronstory.com/

http://www.carolynskitchenonline.com

http://apronmemories.blogspot.com/

Frilly, lacy, sweet, and sexy--aprons defined a generation of happy housewives and hostesses. Today these filmy, finely home-crafted garments are sentimental favorites, evoking memories of Mom, Grandmom, or some other Doris Day-like image of domesticity, and they are highly sought-after by designers and collectors of household linens. Over 200 aprons are featured in this beautiful book, accompanied by detail shots that highlight design elements, stitching, and embellishments. Separate sections are devoted to gingham, floral designs, rickrack, handkerchief aprons, plaids and stripes, and polka dots. Aprons with embroidery, crochet, tatting, lace, and cross-stitching are examined in detail, and a collection of vintage apron patterns is included.

Your New Local Wal-Mart Greeter

Jennifer, a manager at Wal-Mart, had the task of hiring someone to fill a job opening. After sorting through a stack of 20 resumes she found four people who were equally qualified. Jennifer decided to call the four in and ask them only one question. Their answer would determine which of them would get the job.

The day came and as the four sat around the conference room table, Jennifer asked, 'What is the fastest thing you know of?'

The first man replied, 'A THOUGHT.' It just pops into your head. There's no warning.
'That's very good!' replied Jennifer.

'And, now you sir?', she asked the second man.

'Hmmm....let me see 'A blink! It comes and goes and you don't know that it ever happened.. A BLINK is the fastest thing I know of.'

'Excellent!' said Jennifer. 'The blink of an eye, that's a very popular cliché for speed.' She then turned to the third man, who was contemplating his reply.

'Well, out at my dad's ranch, you step out of the house and on the wall there's a light switch.. When you flip that switch, way out across the pasture the light on the barn comes on in less than an instant. 'Yip, TURNING ON A LIGHT is the fastest thing I can think of'.

Jennifer was very impressed with the third answer and thought she had found her man. 'It 's hard to beat the speed of light,' she said.

Turning to BUBBA, the fourth and final man, Jennifer posed the same question.

Old Bubba replied, 'After hearing the previous three answers, it's obvious to me that the fastest thing known is DIARRHEA.'

'WHAT!?' said Jennifer, stunned by the response.

'Oh sure', said BUBBA. 'You see, the other day I wasn't feeling so good, and I ran for the bathroom, but before I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHT, I had already shit my pants.'

BUBBA is now the new greeter at a Wal-Mart near you!

You probably will think of this every time you enter a Wal-Mart from now on.

I LOVE where I Live

Love living in Peachtree City. Watch my little community in action.

All I Need To Know I Learned From The Easter Bunny

Not sure who the actual author is but this is too cute not to share…  Don't put all your eggs in one basket. Everyone needs a friend who is all ears. There's no such thing as too much candy. All work and no play can make you a basket case. A cute tail attracts a lot of attention. Everyone is entitled to a bad hare day. Let happy thoughts multiply like rabbits. Some body parts should be floppy. Keep your paws off of other people's jelly beans. Good things come in small, sugar coated packages. The grass is always greener in someone else's basket. To show your true colors, you have to come out of your shell. The best things in life are still sweet and gooey. May the joy of the season fill your heart. Happy Easter!